First Projects

Post number two, and this time a short one. I just wanted to outline my plans for my next few posts so y'all can know what to expect (not that I have any readers yet, my blog is only a few hours old). I've talked about myself a little, and in my next post I want to talk about where I am right now, the New Jersey Scholars Program. That might cover a couple of posts, but eventually I'll be approaching that dreaded time: the college application experience. I'll reflect on that as I go along, and from time to time I'll likely post some random thoughts and observations generated by the amazing group of kids I'm with right now and the studies we've been doing.

Thanks, and hopefully this will be fun!

Names

Wow, first post. I have to say, the hardest part about creating this blog was figuring out what to name it. That's not just a problem for my blog though, it's a problem for me. It's all about definition; who am I? My family calls me Rick, Ricky, and so on. But to friends and teachers I'm Rich. Which do I really prefer? Can I be both at the same time? And what do I do when those two personae collide? My name is a treasure trove, I'm Ricky Martin, Dick Ressler, and as the blog title suggests, if I had taken my mom's last name I could have been Rich McCool (imagine the reaction of the clerk if I ever tried to legally change my name).

The first time I realized my name was an issue was at my brother's wedding in 2007. I was his Best Man (which is a good story for another time), and at the rehearsal the wedding party was getting to know the minister. He asked us to go down the line and introduce ourselves -- a pretty routine exercise until it was my turn to speak. "Hi, I'm Rich Ressler" I said, and the reaction from my family was immediate: "Rich Ressler? Who is Rich Ressler?" In my mind, I was Rich Ressler, but to my family I was Rick Ressler, never Rich. To this day, my cousin Jenny will occasionally call me Moneybags Ressler, and this seems like an issue I won't be able to escape without making a decision.

So what are my options? I could continue this dichotomy, confusing my friends and family. I could pick one name or the other, Rick or Rich, and make it universal. Or I could pick choice c, and take an entirely new name, asking people to call my by my middle name, Martin. This is not a small question; in our culture names serve as identifiers, and we develop a strong connection with our names; they become a part of us. But what about cultures like the Balinese, where children are given one of four names which roughly mean "first born," "second born," "third born," and "fourth born." Given the high birthrates and high infant mortality in Bali, even the meanings we interpret in these names are lost, because the child named "fourth born" could in fact be the oldest child. (All of this information is taken from Clifford Geertz, "Person, Time, and Conduct in Bali"). In this culture, it might be fair to say that individuals are de-individualized and are seen instead simply as parts of the collective. Of course, this kind of system only works in the small, culturally homogeneous societies of Bali, and are entirely foreign to Westerners, especially Americans with their emphasis on individual freedom.

If our name is part of our identity, then I suppose my struggle is to define my identity. But our struggle to define ourselves goes far beyond our names. Our names are just an example of what we call ourselves, in other words, the things that make up our identities. We have a number of components to our identities, such as gender, race, culture, religion, nationality, political persuasion among others. Here's an experiment: list five things that you call yourself, words that identify you. When you're done, look at your list. What was the first thing that came to your mind? Rearrange your list so that it's in the order of importance. Ideally, this list represents how you view yourself, where your allegiances lie. (Thank you Amy Glenn for this experiment.)

This won't be the last time I write on identity (it is, after all, my final paper topic for the New Jersey Scholars Program, another story for another day). But for me, this task was tough. I got as far as "nerd," "tall," "skeptic" and then ran out of ideas. I'm not a religious person, I'm not a sports fan so there's no team allegiance, my gender doesn't define me, and I don't like calling myself a Democrat or a Republican. My identity, like my name, is not clearly defined. I think, however, that I am not unique in that situation, especially among teenagers. Teenage years are the time to try on different identities and see how they fit, to explore ourselves and who we are. We can be athletes one day, nerds the next; we can be protesters one day and conservatives the next.

So what's my answer, am I Rick or am I Rich?

Call me Martin.

For now.