Yeah, I tripped

If you've been following, I was in EB's fall production of Pride and Prejudice as the wonderfully pretentious (but really a softy on the inside) Mr. Darcy.  This I'm going to cite as my reason number one for my lack of posteral activity.  I realized going into drama that it would be a time commitment, but I had never really experienced what "Tech Week" meant (hell) until this year.  Rewind all the way to three weeks ago: that week was our week of rehearsal-until-seven-pm.  That week I discovered that my inability to focus on homework when there were so many fun and distracting people around me was definitely going to bite me in the ass.  After night 3 of staying up way past my bed time to get all my work done, I decided to get a little more efficient.  I managed to get a little more sleep, but I was still woefully unprepared for what was to come.

I had heard of Tech Week only in agonized groans and slightly annoyed explanations up until that point ("No, I can't hang out, I have tech week." "That sounds like fun, but I won't have time, it's tech week.")  Monday night I finally got home around 10:30ish, exhausted and having managed to complete pretty much no homework at all.  I soldiered on though, finished my work, and slogged through school on Tuesday.  Tuesday night wasn't as bad (I had started to get used to this little sleep), and practice that night came with the added bonus of getting our costumes.

As Vikky aptly pointed out, my character was a little bit of a costume prostitute (those weren't exactly the words she used, but I have to think of the children).  I had three jackets and five vests to wear throughout the play, although I never had as crazy a costume change as some of the girls.  There were dresses sitting back stage for Kat, Anna, and Devin to jump into in between their scenes, but I got to leisurely put on my vests and jackets in the cast room.  The costumes were very cool, and I'm definitely thinking of bringing back the mutton chops, swept back hair, and cravat look for the 21st century (I swear it would be sick with a vest and jeans).

A quick dress rehearsal was all we managed Tuesday, and we didn't even have the time to finish.  Wednesday I took a mental health day from school, and came in for my last drama rehearsal (potentially ever, at least at the high school).  Wednesday's rehearsal consisted of a rehearsal and then a dress rehearsal, and just before getting on stage for my first scene of the dress rehearsal, I realized that the next time I was standing where I stood, I'd be going in front of an audience.  That rehearsal was pretty terrible for me; I forgot lines, nearly laughed at a bad time, and to top it all off was my wonderful screwup of Kat and my final scene.

Spoiler alert: if you haven't read Pride and Prejudice yet, Darcy and Elizabeth kiss at the end.  And of course, that kiss was the final scene of our play.  It was a romantic moment, Kat and I at down center, the lights beginning to dim and the spotlight highlighting us.  We said our last few lines, I took her hands, took a step closer to her, and tripped into our kiss.  Oops.  Neither of us could hold it, and we both cracked up mid-kiss.  I do have to say though that the trip was not entirely my fault; our stage rotated, it was made of three sets built on essentially a giant lazy susan with platforms built in front.  Where the lazy susan met the platforms there was a gap of about two inches, and weight on either side would push one side down, leaving a height gap as well.  That night we happened to end up right along that gap, and I didn't realize that my foot settled into the gap during the last few lines.  I tripped into the kiss that was supposed to be our finale the night before my first performance ever.  But then Jon told me something that managed to make the whole trainwreck of that dress rehearsal seem like a good thing: "Messy dress good show."

It turned out Jon was right.  Our opening night was great, even though there were a few mistakes here and there.  I had the jitters, of course, although I managed to talk myself down for the most part.  Kat's coping mechanism was pacing in circles, which actually managed to distract me from my own nerves.  My first scene went fairly well, except for the teacups.  When I get nervous, my hands shake.  Perfectly normal reaction, but it can look pretty bad if you're holding a little notecard (a la my closing argument for Mock Trial a few years ago) or if you're holding a teacup.  With a little saucer.  When the two met, there was a nice little china 'clink', but combined with my tremors that 'clink' turned into Morse code.  I tried my best not to let it phase me, but lifting the teacup to my mouth I was sure that I was obvious that I was shaking.  I felt better as soon as I got off stage and Zach turned to me and said "those teacups were a bad idea."  At least I wasn't alone!  After that, I decided that my shaking was a "character choice," because I had entered the scene pretending to be cold anyway.

The rest of the first show was amazing fun.  I sat backstage and listened to the lines, the laughs, and the drama, loving every minute of it.  Of course, I managed to mess up some of my lines when proposing to Kat for the first time, but the scene was still one of my favorite scenes.  I loved acting the moment when the reality of the rejection sets in, and the hurt and regret can't be covered with anger or arrogance any more.  Walking past Kat, turning and saying "I wish you.. every happiness," and then closing the door was a powerful moment, but my favorite moment of all was the pause, and then the look back at the door, overwhelmed by what just happened.  It was such a fun, emotional scene to play that I would actually get back to the cast room still a little shaken.  Those were the moments that made me love this play, for the love story and even for the very British, dry humor.

Every night after that first show got better for me, as my nerves started to fade and the play became more important than my fear.  I probably owe a lot of that confidence boost to the reception I got after the show on the first night.  I'd only ever experienced the "congratulate the actors as the come out from backstage" from the congratulate-or side, never the congratulate-ee side.  So when I saw my friends and got a (great) group hug, I realized how much we had accomplished as a cast.  After every performance, hearing "good job!" "you were great!" "that was spectacular!" didn't inflate my ego, it made me proud to be part of the beautiful thing that the group of people I had spent countless hours with for the past months created.  So a special thanks to Kat and Becky for convincing me to take the plunge, to the all the drama seniors who welcomed me into the drama family, and to everyone who made that experiences one of the best I've ever had.  You're all amazing people, and whether or not I do the Spring musical, I'll always love the time I spent with you all.